Sry I called you an 8
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
