You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
