When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
