I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
