I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
