Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
bring money and cleavage
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
