Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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