just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
