wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
