People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
