Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
