She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
