Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
