As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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