awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
