We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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