What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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