Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
