If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
