it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
