Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
