so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
