i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
