Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
