If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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