to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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