Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
