Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
be right there i have to get my cape
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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