the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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