haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
