Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
