Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
