Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
