Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
