Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
