I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's rum buckets o'clock
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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