I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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