As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
