I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm having to shit out rocks
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