Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
