I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
