Sry I called you an 8
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
