he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
