I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
