Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
