he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
