Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
