Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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