I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
