can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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