Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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