Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
